Let Me Find That Bottle Opener

Every once in awhile, I come across some “expert” who has the inside story on the horrors of alcohol, especially the evil ways that alcoholic products are made, and is more than willing to explain his/her theory of the evils of drink to the rest of us.

Having studied brewing at the Siebel Institute of Technology (the oldest school for brewers in the U.S.) some years ago in Chicago, along with guest brewers from China, various countries in South and Central America, Coors, Miller, Stroh (before their demise) and a handful of newly-emerging craft breweries and also having penned a number of books on certain aspects of beer and brewing, I can say without much hesistation that I do know a little more about the brewing process than the average beer drinker or the homebrewer who once won a gold medal last year for best (fill-in-blank here) beer in a local or regional contest.

So when some “expert” expounds on the evils of beer, it only takes me a matter of seconds to understand that the poster is either a total blowhard or something worse, a neo-prohibitionist guised as a consumer advocate.

For the month of April, I’d like to nominate “The Holistic Bodybuilder,” a fellow who manages to tell blog visitors that he “recently received my certification for swiss ball training, [and] dynamic medicine ball training.” And while reaching these lofty goals, he’s also managed to put together a hilarious look at the dangers of the brewing process.

Here’s something I must has missed during my studies of beer: “Basically light beer is just sugar. Dark beer is just sugar with a little bit of minerals.”

I invite you to take a look at The Holistic Bodybuilder” and see for yourself where his argument against the impurities of beer suddenly changes into a standard neo-prohibitionist rant.

By the way, according to the blog ower, “…constipation [is]…the number one problem in America!!” Someone’s certainly full of something here.

If you have some other examples of neo-prohibitionism at its finest, send me a link and I’ll pick the best for the next Neo-Prohibitionist Disguised As Consumer Advocate Award for May.

If you’d like your beer featured, simply send a few samples and some tech info I’ll need to arrive at the nutritional numbers I need and get you and your brewery some FREE advertising while satisfying the inquiries of so many people who contact me everyday looking for the nutritional info of their favorite brews. There’s 2,000 beers listed in “Does My BUTT Look BIG In This BEER?, but the more beers…the merrier.

You brewers and distributors, don’t blow your customers off. They really want to know what’s in your beers, and it’s not simply because they’re looking for the lowest calorie or lowest carb beers. They simply want to be able to work your beers into their daily meals and know how many calories they might need to burn off during a run, a cardio routine, maybe a Pilates session. Their curiosity is no different than wondering what’s in the cereal they feed their kids in the morning or the Similac they babies consume. It’s information that your customers want, not some sort of “gotcha” attitude that seems to make some brewers so paranoid.

If you’re afraid of the TTB, don’t be. I’m not a practicing brewer and don’t fall under the same rigid constraints that you do as a businessman. For instance, just imagine the kind of trouble you’d have if you made the claim that your beer had some sort of positive nutritive attribute in it. On the other hand, as a writer, I can make that kind of casual observation with the appropriate hesitations.

You help me, and I can help you.

While Diabetes Associations Suggest Switching to Drinks That Are Lower in Alcohol and Sugar, Current Labeling

Honey Does My BUTT Look BIG?

Laws Fail to Provide Needed Information

Chicago, Ill. (PRWEB) April 8, 2009 — Gambrinus Media announced today that “Does My BUTT Look BIG In This BEER? Nutritional Values of 2,000 Worldwide Beers” (ISBN-13: 978-0982218204, $10) is now available in book stores and Internet book sites. The valuable information provided in the paperback book can be used by diabetics under the supervision of their physicians, dieters counting calories or carbohydrates or beer drinkers who simply want to know the nutritional values of what they are drinking. Currently, this kind of information is only available on the federally-mandated nutrition facts labels of light or low-carbohydrate beers.

Tired of waiting for the Alcohol Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB) to implement transparency in alcohol nutrition labeling requirements, author Bob Skilnik has compiled an impressive array of beers, including popular imports and crafts, with their nutritional values.

“At the moment, individual states determine whether or not the alcoholic strength of a beer can be displayed on containers or advertising materials. If you’re looking for carbohydrate or calorie content on your favorite beers, forget it. You won’t find it, no matter what state you’re in. Suggestions by leading diabetes organizations to seek out beers with less alcohol and carbohydrates are meaningless if that information is not made readily available to consumers.”

A few years ago, the TTB, the federal agency that controls labeling requirements for alcoholic beverages, opened up a comment campaign for a possible new labeling design that drew over 18,000 comments concerning the proposed addition of a nutrition facts label on all alcoholic beverages, similar to what’s found on most packaged foodstuffs. About 96 percent of the comments received by the agency demonstrated a strong wanting for nutritional labeling on all alcoholic products.

“The brewing industry is currently rushing gluten-free beers to store shelves for those beer drinkers who rank among the 2 million Americans who suffer from Celiac Disease, a condition that can damage the intestines due to intolerance to gluten, a protein found in various grains such as barley. Other breweries are trying to capture the even smaller niche of those drinkers looking for ‘organic’ beers. In the meantime, almost 24 million Americans suffer from diabetes, a huge demographic in an otherwise flat market that finally has the opportunity to enjoy a beer or two with a meal or snack, empowered by the information provided in ‘Does My BUTT Look BIG In This BEER? Nutritional Values Of 2,000 Worldwide Beers’ while under the supervision of their physician, dietician or nutritionist.”

Bob Skilnik is a certified brewer and freelance writer. He’s been a contributor to the Good Eating Section of the Chicago Tribune and a former columnist for the LowCarb Energy magazine. The Chicago writer has appeared on ABC’s “The View,” ESPN2’s “Cold Pizza,” Fox News Channel’s “Fox News Live,” and Chicagoland print, radio and television outlets, preaching the moderate consumption and nutritional aspects of adult beverages. Skilnik is currently working on a similar nutritional research project with wine for late summer publication. More information can be found at “Drink Healthy, Drink Smart” (http://drinkhealthydrinksmart.com)

“Does My BUTT Look BIG In This BEER? Nutritional Values Of 2,000 Worldwide Beers” is distributed by Ingram Book Group, the world’s largest wholesale distributor of book products. With four distribution centers strategically located throughout the country and the largest inventory in the industry, Ingram provides the fastest delivery available.

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