Old Chicago’s Breweries & Saloons Tours

For groups of 35 to 55. Take a narrated tour of some of the  still-standing structures that once housed Chicago’s famous (and infamous) breweries and saloons. Includes a few of Al Capone’s secret “wildcat” breweries. The tour takes about 4 to 4.5 hours, depending on traffic. Years of experience doing these tours have PROVEN time and time again that a tour that begins at 10 A.M. or earlier on a Sunday, can mean all the difference between seeing as much as possible of the buildings or sitting in a traffic jam of cars filled with shoppers on a Saturday afternoon or before a Cub’s game — either way, watching the back end of cars.

There are no tours for individuals. These jaunts are instead for groups of 35 to 55 participants. If you are a member of a club, senior center, historical or genealogical society, a team-building exercise, tavern owner, etc. and can put together a group, this is the perfect venue. If you own a tavern, there’s nothing like having 55 customers come back to your bar for a few hours of after-tour enjoyment. Also keep in mind, Mr Barkeeper, if you’d like to sponsor or partially sponsor a tour, I can set up the beginning and ending stop at your front door, talk up your specials, drag in 55 customers or so and you can’t  lose.

Cost is $40 per person. There’s a standard contract, half down 3 weeks before the tour, the remainder 1 week before the tour.  ALL TOURS WILL BE PREPAID.

We use a climate-controlled bus with toilet. No raggedy-ass school buses.

There is no drinking nor smoking on the bus. If you need a smoke, we make plenty of stops and get out to get a closer look at some of the buildings on the tour. If you need a smoke, grab one and hot box it before we reboard. We can also arrange for the tour to begin and end at the Goose Island brewpub on Clybourn. Take advantage of their fine selection of beers after the tour. I’ve done this tour without drinking allowed onboard and with drinking onboard. Drinking onboard means too much frat-house trouble, additional security deposits to the bus company, litter, unexpected bodily fluids unleashed, etc., and a close quarter demonstration of my big swing with a Louieville Slugger, and doesn’t make for an enjoyable tour for others. (Man, could I tell you some stories!)

FAQs:

Q. Can we go inside one of the breweries?

A. No. The last old-time Chicago brewery closed in 1978. (If you had purchased my book beforehand, BEER: A History of Brewing in Chicago, you would have known that. Rest assurred…I’ll have copies available for sale.) We are touring what’s left of the existing structures. Many of them have been converted into condos, warehouses, or business sites and the inhabitants probably wouldn’t appreciate 50 people trampling through their front rooms while enjoying their morning coffee. Goose Island Beer Company has a bottling plant on west Fulton but is not set up for tours. Chicago’s newest breweries, Metropolitan and Half-Acre, might be happy to bring prospective new customers around on a tour. We’ll see.

Q. Will we stop for lunch?

A. No. C’mon. It’s only a 4 to 4.5 hour tour. If we stop to eat, that’s less sites that we will be able to see. Eat a big breakfast, brownbag it or knock yourself out when we get back to the Goose Island Brewpub.

O. Why is the tour so long?

A. Because if I shorten it, someone will complain that it’s too short. Seriously, these sites are scattered throughout the city — mostly on the North Side — and not lined up like museum displays. It takes time to get from one site to another, especially if traffic becomes a problem.

Q. How many sites will we see?

A. All depends. Once again, traffic and even weather conditions can slow us down. Expect to view anywhere between 12 to 20 sites.

Q. I paid but couldn’t make it to the tour. Can I get a refund?

A. No. If you booked the tour through a group, talk to the organizer.

Guest Speaker

If it’s beer-related or you need a unique perspective, a “How-To” presentation on beer appreciation (with tastings), a beer-in-food demonstration (I’ll need an on-site kitchen), a Chicago beer history presentation, or a rundown on the realities of getting your non-fiction work published, give me a call at 815.557.4608 or e-mail me at toddlintown@comcast.net

To reserve a speaking date, a 50 percent deposit with a signed contract will be payable upon settlement. The deposit is refundable if cancellation is received 14 days prior to the event. If canceled less than 14 days prior to the event, the deposit is non-refundable. Speeches can be somewhat modified to apply to your group’s particular needs.

* Speaker’s fee or honorarium $350 for a 1-1.5 hour presentation plus tolls, travel, hotel or auxiliary expenses, if required. If you’d like a beer tasting with a wonderful presentation on beer styles, a beer expense and shopping fee will also be necessary. This additional fee will depend upon the size of the audience.

* Half-day 2 to 4 hours (presentation, meet-and-greet) $450 plus travel, hotel and auxiliary expenses, if required.  I’ve done presentations and then been asked to stay for dinner and mingle with guests. A look at my watch and I suddenly realize that I’ve been “on” for 4 hours, but paid for 1. I’m a freelancer; when I’m not working…I’m unemployed.

* Full-day 4 to 8 hours, $600 plus travel, hotel or auxiliary expenses, if necessary.

Please call me with any questions, comments or ideas. I’m located in the Chicagoland area. 815.557.4608 or e-mail at toddlintown@comcast.net

Appraisals

What’s that old bottle worth?

So you found an old beer bottle from Chicago and you want to know its value, the history of the brewery, where it was located — maybe put the bottle up on eBay — and want me to help you make some beer money. I usually get a good dozen of these e-mail requests each week and when I explain that most of the info is in BEER: A History of Brewing in Chicago and send them a link to purchase the book, they disappear.

If you see your family physician at the supermarket, ask him to step away from the steak display for a mere moment and ask him if he can give a look at that pimple on your ass. I’m guessing he’ll say no. So do I.

Well friends, as they used to say in Chicago’s old saloons, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” I used to gladly do free appraisals — drop everything – especially when the requester had a good story behind the item; (”It’s been a treasured item in our family for years,” “My mom said it belonged to her favorite uncle,”) and then I’d find the “family heirloom” on eBay 10 minutes after I gave my opinion on its value.

I’ll give you a no-frills estimate on the value of your beer bottles, trays, cans, etc. for the minimal fee of $15, sent first to my PayPal account. I’ll also need good digital pictures of the item from various angles so I can gauge the quality of the item. If you want the brewery’s history, location and dates of operation, add another $10 for a total of $25. Go to PayPal and send the appraisal fee to my account   toddlintown@comcast.net but contact me first.

Writing Services

Need an article for your business, maybe something to pass on to a trade magazine with your name on the byline?

Looking for the kind of news release that will get you calls from local and national media outlets? How do you think I appeared on “The View?” It certainly wasn’t for my looks. It was because I had a book with a hook and knew how to get it into a news release in 400 words or less.

Own a restaurant and need an advertising/restaurant review that will give it a needed shot in the financial arm?

Have a manuscript that needs the unbiased eye of an editor?

Can’t quite get your book proposal in order?

Have a book idea and you’ve done the groundwork research for but don’t have the time to write it? Consider my ghostwriting services, but only after you’ve done research on typical ghostwriting fees. A book can take 6 months to 1 year to write. If you think I’ll write your “assured bestseller” for $1,000, don’t call me. If your boss told you that your wages for 6 months of work was going to be $1,000, would you take the job?

Considering writing a book but don’t understand the publishing process or all of your options? I’ve just started Gambrinus Media, my own publishing house. Before you waste a lot of time and money trying to get published, give me a call and I’ll explain all your publishing options. My fee for telephone consultations is $100 per hour, with a 5 minute intro and 5 minute wind-up, in other words, 70 minutes for the price of 60. I’ve written 8 books in the last ten years with one more on the way. I know the business. Don’t believe everything your know-it-all Aunt Marge says because she once dated some stringer at the AP.

Call or e-mail me with questions.  815.557.4608    or   toddlintown@comcast.net I’d love to hear from you, and honestly, I won’t bite!